2.8 The importance of childhood

The Sacred Voyage: a holotropic perspective on mental health

Fear of social exclusion must, at a certain point in time, have provided us with some evolutionary benefit, because man has only been able to survive in a group setting. This fear is still with us today, and is particularly strongly present in children. Fear of social rejection has grown out of all proportion (and is, as is illustrated by the Dickerson and Kemeny quote, virtually equivalent to the fear of dying). This is especially true for children and it makes sure that they can easily adapt to the norms of a group, at the expense of their unique personal characteristics.

‘The type of stress that has the strongest effect on the level of stress hormones, which drives up the levels of hydrocortisone, is predominantly present in classrooms in the form of ‘social threats’ like being judged by a teacher or leaving a ‘stupid’ impression with other children. These social fears have a strongly inhibiting effect on the cerebral mechanisms that allow us to learn.’ (Elizuya & Rochlofs)

‘Being evaluated is a threat to the ‘social self’, the way we see ourselves through the eyes of others. This notion of social value and status, and thus, our self-esteem, is derived from the messages we receive from other people about the way they see us. When our reputation is at stake, this may have a remarkably strong biological effect, nearly equal in strength to situations in which our life is threatened.’ (Dickerson & Kemeny)

At school we learn how to adjust and it is there that we develop our cognitive skills. Through an ongoing emphasis on knowledge and learning, children become detached from the feelings that are unique to them and are a part of their inalienable centre. The language of physical sensation is hardly acknowledged at schools, let alone supported in its development.

Of course it is not down to education alone that children can become detached from their essence. Parents and other people involved in the upbringing certainly play a large part as well. More so now than ever in the past, both parents go out to work, which seems to reduce the importance they associate with upbringing. More and more often, and at a younger age, children are taken to child day care centers, where the real needs of a young child cannot be fulfilled sufficiently. As a result, children can become emotionally damaged at an early stage, though often this is not readily apparent because the child will adapt out of fear. Children whose needs are not acknowledged and fulfilled will, at a subconscious level, become imprinted with the message that they do not matter and that their needs are not important. Sometimes these children become troublesome or hard to manage, in other cases they may adapt and become apathetic. In both events, the children become detached from their unique and inalienable centre.

Often, a child’s development is also marred by other traumatic occurrences such as violence, (sexual) abuse, neglect or bullying. Shamans refer to the effect these traumatic events have as soul loss.

Soul loss: ‘Losing crucial parts of ourselves that provide us with life and vitality’ (Sandra Ingerman)

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